Worry, anxiety, and fear - Oh my! You may recognize this phrase mimicking a scene from the movie, the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy, the Lion, and the Tinman walking through the forest were
anxious, worried and afraid that lions, tigers, and bears might be lurking close by ready to eat them. To cope with their emotions, they repeated the phrase “Lion, tigers, and bears, oh my!” to help them skip through the forest unscathed. They learned to join together to support each other to get out of the forest safely. Just like the Wizard of Oz trio, many of us feel worry, anxiety, and fear waiting in the wings to pounce on us or indeed we may already be in the tight grasp of those emotions. How can we develop our own strategy to skip through life free of those negative feelings and to work through the life lessons they bring forward for us?
This week Spirit gave me a huge “aha moment” about the intense worry, anxiety, and fear that seem to be bubbling up right now for a lot of people. These three emotions are closely related and in fact, according to Merriam Webster, they share similar or at least some overlapping definitions as below:
Worry: “mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated” (Source: Merriam-Webster – worry)
Anxiety: “apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill”; “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it”; “mentally distressing concern or interest”; “a strong desire sometimes mixed with doubt, fear, or uneasiness” (Source: Merriam-Webster-anxiety)
Fear: “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger”; “anxious concern”; “reason for alarm” (Source: Merriam-Webster – fear)
I am sure these definitions are no surprise to anyone as all of us have experienced these feelings at some point in our lives. Although they are all so similar, I am sure we each might experience them differently from one another. These days, just like Dorothy and her friends, we might feel that the worry, anxiety, and fear is all around us. These are difficult emotions and can be overwhelming. If we stay stuck in them our spiritual growth is stunted. What can help us to deal with them is to realize that they often accompany the life lessons that we have chosen to learn. They are a signal to what we need to pay attention to. Once we figure out what that is, we are on our way to feeling better.
As an Empath, I have been sensing worry, anxiety, and fear very frequently lately. The energy has felt “heavy” and although we try to avoid it, watching the news hits home with those heavy emotions. Most often I am sensing the feelings of others and can clear them quickly. This week though, Spirit stepped it up in my working through a life lesson brought to me through the emotion of anxiety. Here is how my “aha” moment came about…
The familiar uneasiness in the pit of my stomach started as I neared my planned departure time for my Wednesday medical appointment. I paused briefly to quickly check in with my Guides as to whether what I was feeling was mine or whether, as an Empath, I was just feeling the emotion that belonged to someone else. The immediate answer was “yes”, it was mine. I wasn’t surprised as I had been experiencing anxiety more and more over the last several years when I needed to be on time for a scheduled event. Whether it is dropping our kids off at the
airport, or catching a ferry to Vancouver island on a vacation, attending a concert, or simply getting to an appointment, I get anxious about being late and worry about the anticipated repercussions – a missed flight for my kids, literally “missing the boat”, missing part of the concert, or having to rebook an appointment. I was never worried about the actual event like being afraid of drowning when travelling on a ferry or having medical testing done. It was anxiety and worry about “timing.” The question has been why? Logically, the repercussions are never of “life and death” severity, so why the anxiety? I decided that this time, instead of just thinking “here we go again”, I would figure out the answer to the question “why”.
Up to this point, I have never really examined where this type of response to scheduled events was coming from as it only surfaced a few years ago. In fact, as a teen and young adult I was always early for any booked event. However, when I met my husband, our sense of timing changed to the point where we have even missed a flight. In contrast to my husband’s calm response, I would get upset but that would be short lived as we rebooked the flight or arrived to an occasion late with apologies. I never had an issue with anxiety. When attending something solo I was usually still on time if not early. For our joint ventures, I would simply plan knowing our friends ensured they told us the start time of an event was an hour or so earlier than it actually was. In fact, I would often say my married last name of “Young” must mean “late” in another language! I might have gotten frustrated at our timing but I would never feel stressed prior to the event until the last few years. So where was this anxiety or worry suddenly coming from? This week the Universe gave me yet another opportunity to finally figure out the answer to that question and what to do about it.
On Wednesday, I had planned my morning so I would leave the house at 11:00 giving myself plenty of time to arrive at my 11:30 appointment. As I prepared to leave, the familiar knot in the pit of my stomach set in. Knowing “it was mine”, I tried to ignore it, grabbed my coat and keys, and headed outside. As I brushed the mountain of snow off the car, I silently berated myself for not adding the time the task was taking into my departure schedule. Finally able to see through the windshield, I was in the car at 11:09. Crap! I might be late especially if the traffic was slow and the roads were bad. Silently asking Archangel Metatron to warp time for me and have me arrive on time, I headed out being careful not to speed on the potentially icy snow covered roads. At the top of my street, Spirit quickly presented me with pros and cons of three potential routes. Subsequently, I chose a route I don’t usually take but it seemed it would be the safest and fastest.
As I drove towards the clinic, I was acutely aware of the unusually light traffic and that every
traffic light I came upon was green. I suddenly felt as if Spirit was paving the way for me, Metatron was answering my prayer. I expressed my gratitude to Spirit but the knot in my stomach remained. Somehow, I knew I would arrive with only a couple of minutes to spare and I did. Entering the parking lot of the clinic, I looked at the clock on the dashboard for the first time since leaving home – 11:27. I had 3 minutes. Finding a parking spot “right by the snack bar” as my dad used to say (meaning a spot very close to the door), I pulled in, then carefully penguin walked across the road to the clinic doors (I couldn’t have a fall on the icy road delay me!), and entered the elevator that responded instantly to my punch of the “up” button. With a sigh of relief, I checked in right away as there was no line up and sat down in the waiting room. The clock on the wall showed the time – 11:30! The knot in my stomach dissolved as I took a few deep breaths.
Now, is anyone thinking what is all the stress about? It was only an appointment, right? Right! The situation does not seem to warrant such an anxious reaction. That is why this time I resolved to dive deeper into what was going on. This situation was also different than what I had experienced previously. The difference this time, was that I was acutely aware of how I was feeling and the synchronicities happening every step along the way. Until this week, I have acknowledged my anxious response to getting places on time but have never been so acutely aware of when the physical sensation started and stopped, nor of all the help I had along the way. Being able to examine this situation in more detail has helped me get a little closer to getting through this life lesson highlighted by worry and anxiety. Let’s walk through the steps I took…
First, this time, I could pinpoint when the anxiety started. It wasn’t a reaction to realizing I might be late. It was while I was still planning a strategy to be on time. It is important to try to identify the first time this type of reaction might have occurred so that we can go back and release it. When I have previously reflected on the potential initial trigger for this anxiety reaction, Spirit has brought to mind a time several years ago when our entire family was catching a flight to France for one of my daughters’ wedding. We were waiting to board at one of the gates when we suddenly heard our family being paged to another gate at the opposite end of the airport! In shock, all ten of us were instantly on the run, including one of my other daughters and her husband with their two month old infant and all the paraphernalia needed to travel with a little one, and then me, bringing up the rear. Luckily, the plane waited for us. When we arrived at the other gate, we were quickly ushered on board, the plane door closing quickly behind us.
What didn’t strike me until today, was I believe I was the one that led the family to the wrong gate. They had trusted me but I must have misread a number and was responsible for us
almost missing our flight for an extremely important event – my daughter’s wedding!! Messing up the plans for her wedding would have been my worst nightmare. My plan of where to catch our flight had been WRONG and caused sheer panic that we might miss our flight. Is that why the anxiety now starts with my planning for the timing of attending an event? As I approach the final start time of the event am I reliving the panic of that run through the airport to arrive at the gate just in time? When discussing this trigger briefly previously with a good friend, she also heard from Spirit that I had a similar experience in a past life where I missed a boat and did not make a very important journey. Often, we carry lessons from one life to another if we haven’t worked through them.
My “aha moment” was not only having a clearer picture of the initial triggering event, but also of the life lessons this response is trying to highlight for me. So, what IS the life lesson this anxiety is trying to teach me? Is it to pay more attention to being on time? Is it to plan better especially for important events? Is that part of being more RESPONSIBLE? Or conversely, is it to let go of that level of CONTROL and trust that all will work out? Am I too controlling with my need to plan? Do I need to let go of the fear of an unpleasant outcome and allow others to take the lead? Perhaps I should have let one of the more seasoned travellers in the family lead us to the correct gate on that trip to France. Did my negative thoughts charged with my worry and anxiety about being late actually threaten to manifest my fear? Did I create the delay from having to sweep off my car as part of manifesting being late? Does my worry about others responding to my being late reflect the way I perhaps responded to my husband being late over the years? Is it so I can experience what he experienced from my frustration with him being late and to understand that he was trying his best? Is this anxiety part of learning a lesson in JUDGEMENT of others? Do any of these lessons sound familiar to something you might be working through?
When I looked closer at the potential life lessons I was in the middle of, I recognized that they all have the thread of lack of trust. Could my need to control and take on all the responsibility of a situation stem from my inability to trust others to “do the job.” Do I judge myself and others because I don’t trust that we can “do it right”? Does my anxiety, worry and fear manifest negative outcomes because I don’t trust the unknowns in our environment or those of the future? In my final “aha moment” Spirit clarified for me that my lesson is to TRUST that Spirit always has events and timelines work out according to our highest good. In theory I have acknowledged that a long while ago, but this time around I knew I needed to hold that foundational belief in my heart. Helping me along, Spirit gave me the proof. Didn’t the rest of the trip to the clinic show me that? I asked Metatron for help and the angels cleared an uninterrupted path for me to arrive on time. My belief system seemed to shift.
I am grateful this week’s trip to the clinic has given me an opportunity to develop more insight into this anxiety and to work through the lesson in TRUST. With the heavy energies of late, I can only think that it must be a time for many of us to work through our lessons brought to us through worry, anxiety, and fear. Are these emotions presenting in your life lately? Are some of your life lessons coming to light? If it feels overwhelming, that’s OK. The bigger the challenge, the greater the lesson. You will get there!
Now that I am aware of the initial trigger and the life lesson I am working through, the next question is how do I move forward? As per Divine timing, part of the strategy for me to work through this lesson was presented to me today. I had signed up for a three week series of daily meditations, each with a different theme. If I had progressed through the series as it was meant to be, I would currently be halfway through the last week. However, due to a number of factors, I missed a few days here and there so am only halfway through week two. The reason for the delays became clear as the meditation today presented me with a strategy for working through this anxiety. It was all about becoming a calm, peaceful observer.
When we become an observer, we are not attached to any outcomes of a situation. There is no outcome to worry about or be anxious about or be fearful of. There are no conditions for the situation to run according to. There is no need for control or panic about a missed outcome or condition. When we are an observer, we can respond to an event or situation versus react to one. When we are calm and peaceful, we are living from our heart. We are compassionate and curious but there are no expectations. We allow ourselves to be true to our path and others to do the same. There is no judgement, no control, and we are only responsible for ourselves. We can be in the moment trusting that God/the Creator/Source/the Divine always presents elements in our life in alignment with our highest purpose and along the perfect timeline. We respond knowing that truth and there is no need to react emotionally with worry, anxiety, or fear. When we are the calm, peaceful observer, we stand in the eye of the storm and watch the storm dissipate around us. In our detached calmness we trust that all is well and so it is.
Sounds so simple and so beautiful, doesn’t it? But how do we become the calm, peaceful observer? First, we need to realize that things that have occurred in the past can be released. The past is the past and we do not need to relive it unless we want to think of it so often that we manifest it in our future. To release the past, we simply thank it for the lessons it has brought forward and release, don’t look back. We may need to practice forgiveness of ourselves or others to release something. In my case, I will forgive myself for almost causing us to miss the plane to France. I will also forgive myself for being controlling and judgemental.
Next find a quiet time and space to go within. Visualize a place deep within you where your soul resides. This is your core, a place of pure love. Enter your core and join with your soul. Imagine how that would feel to sit in that place. Connect with it. Feel the love, the calm, the peace. Remember this place and the feeling and return there when you encounter a trigger or start to experience worry, anxiety, or fear. Instead of dwelling in those emotions, watch the events occurring around you in a neutral state. When we are peaceful, we choose not to allow anything outside of us to control our emotions. Participate in the world with knowledge, curiosity and compassion but don’t attach yourself to any outcome. This is living in the moment and takes practice. It means you are not reviewing the past with an attached emotion of perhaps, guilt, regret, anger; nor are you anticipating the future with worry, anxiety, or fear. You are simply in the singular present moment.
Use the strength of this calm, loving state to release any negative emotion and reframe it with being open to the happiness and joy you deserve. For example, instead of being worried about being late, I am going to be happy that I arrive at just the right time for that event as intended by the Divine. I say as intended by the Divine because I may have a different idea of timing that is not in my best interest. I may want to arrive at an event five minutes before it starts but circumstances arise that result in me arriving ten minutes late. Unknown to me though, might be that I was delayed to avoid being in an accident. This is an example of where we can let go of any expectations and trust Divine timing.
Lastly, reach out to others for help. It may be family, friends, professionals, or a new “tribe” you have become part of. Remember too, that you also have the support of Spirit. Call in your Guides and Angels to help you recognize your life lessons and work through them. Ask for their help daily to be that calm, peaceful observer. They are ready and waiting to support you.
So, this is where my anxiety has led me so far. With this realization I am seeing other areas in my life where I fall victim to worry and fear. Examining all of these situations along with my anxiety over timing of events, I see a pattern that points to the life lesson of trust that I am working on. In some areas I have already taken small steps to release those emotions, but seeing the big picture will help me escalate my learning.
Have you been experiencing heavy emotions lately? Are they pointing you to some life lessons to work through? Just as Dorothy worked through ups and downs, encountering “good and evil” along the yellow brick road to get home, we too have challenges and successes as we
travel our path to our home, our true selves. By being aware of your emotions, curious as to their origin or triggers, and connecting with your inner self to become the calm, peaceful observer, you will work through the life lessons on your journey. As Glinda, the “good witch” said, “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.” (Source: Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz) And, just like Dorothy, when we arrive home, we will be truly happy because to quote her, “There is no place like home.” (Source: Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz)
Lots of love and hugs,
Marilyn
Resources
If you would like to learn more about life lessons, here are a few resources I have found helpful:
Websites:
Thyra Whitford, Master Empath – Life Lessons course (coming soon)
Intuitive Counselling and Angel Card Readings
If you need a helping hand to identify and work through your life lessons, I am offering intuitive counselling and angel card readings online or in person (in Calgary).
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