Moving Into the New You

As I sat today reflecting on past blog topics, waiting for Spirit to fill me in on the topic for this

week, I was suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I haven’t had one for a long time and it wasn’t as severe as they were a few years ago, but it was definitely there. Then I heard Spirit whisper, “Five years. It has been five years since you retired and look at how much your life has changed.” Then the list started to come in fast and furious of all the things in my life and things about me that have changed. WOW! It has been an intense five years! Some of the changes have been subtle and some not so much! Some things were easy to let go of and others I am still working on. In the Spring of 2024 Spirit had me write about “peeling the onion” – as we grow and learn life lessons, we discover we can go deeper for more profound learning. Well, more of those layers have definitely come off but I don’t think I am at the core yet! Somehow though, as I look through the list of changes that Spirit has just given me, I feel lighter, proud, and dare I say, even a bit joyful! So many people have experienced tremendous change in the past few years as the world around us continues to change. What about you? Have you had the chance to reflect on your growth? What changes have you gone through especially this past year? How do you feel about them? What is next on your path? Let’s look at a few areas that I am sure you have experienced changes in and see what the future might hold…

Finding a New Identity and Self Worth

I remember my first three months of retirement at the beginning of 2021 as a HUGE time of change. My daily routine was out the window – no more early rises, gulping down a coffee in traffic on the way to the office with the “to do list” already scrolling through my head. No more long nights at the kitchen table tweaking policy manuals into the wee hours because the day at the office was too full of meetings and responding to staff needs. Leaving that all behind left my days feeling oddly quiet and…empty. I spent a lot of time researching the best way to use up the last of my benefits, researching the latest information on the pandemic (yes, I retired from health care in year two of the pandemic), and getting myself into a new routine.

The biggest change though, was shedding my role as a nurse and manager in health care that had consumed my days for forty-three years and as a manager, most intensely for the last twenty. As colleagues still reached out for support and advice, I remember working hard at moving from advisor to supporter and putting the control to handle the situations brought forward back in their capable hands. As a result, I experienced a huge void in my self identity. A role that I held for so many years was suddenly gone. Even though I had planned my exit for a year, when the calendar clicked past that last day as an employee of the health care system, that role with all of its responsibilities and accomplishments was gone. It took several weeks to really let go of the sense of responsibility for how things moved forward in the workplace. I had done my best to support my staff and to create services that were helpful for clients. But I had to let go of responding physically and emotionally to any changes made after I left. Spirit helped me to recognize that just as I had my own timeline, so did those I worked with and the system I worked within. Whatever took place in that workplace was in the highest good for those still there and was no longer part of my timeline.

This change in this part of my self identity was an opportunity to work on my sense of self

value. As time has progressed, Spirit has helped me disentangle my sense of self worth/value from relying on external sources (Example: recognition from others for “a job well done”) to integrate it into how I feel about me. As they say, “It is none of my business what others think about me.” So, I reflected on my accomplishments over my career and felt proud of my work. I had done my best and knew I had positive impact in many places and with many people. As one of my friends reminded me, I did leave a legacy. But more than what I had done, I reflected on who I was and who I am now – still kind, caring, and compassionate. Once I let go of that need for validation from the workplace, and sat in the power of who I am, I felt free. I could move my life forward in any direction. I could fill my days with whatever I wanted. What about you? Have you had any big shifts in your career or occupation that has created some challenges for you about self worth or even your self identity?

With my newfound freedom I was eager to engage more in my spiritual growth. As long as I can remember I have been interested in the metaphysical, practicing “levitation” with friends in the school yard as an early teen or cramming into in a broom closet with them huddled over a Ouija Board! During university years I entertained practicing astral travel and meditation. Throughout my nursing career I know in hindsight that my empathic gifts helped me support many of my patients. My intuition was always a strong guide in my personal and professional life but after retirement I could focus on connecting with it more consciously. As I read books, attended workshops, and conversed with friends about the spiritual world my curiosity grew as did my spiritual gifts. I became more connected to my Guides and Angels and eventually they guided me to offer the services and writings that I do today. It took a while to see myself as a more spiritual person and even longer to show that side of me to the world. BUT Spirit keeps encouraging me and reminding me that I am on purpose and that is what gives me a sense of self value now. I know I am living the life I should be and serving others in a way that is aligned with my purpose. Despite bumps along the road and the temptations to derive my worth from what I do versus who I am, I am moving forward. Knowing I am aligned with my purpose gives me great peace. Have you experienced any shifts in your identity to feel more aligned with your purpose? How does it feel?

Changing Beliefs and Values

As part of my journey to my evolving new identity over these last several years, I have experienced shifts in my core beliefs and values – some were slight tweaks, others were BIG. The challenges of the pandemic and the ongoing political chaos in the world really gave me an opportunity to solidify deep held values regarding personal freedom, non-judgement, and love and respect for others to live in their truth. The Universe really gave me many opportunities to practice and grow more deeply committed to those values during the pandemic. When social pressures created conflicting opinions within our family it was true unconditional love that kept us together. Pressure from needs within my extended family over the last several years gave me the opportunity to learn about responsibility, boundaries, and control – remembering that I am only responsible for my life and only in control of my life as I exercise my free will. I used to believe that it was my responsibility to help everyone I could to live a safe, healthy, comfortable life. The more threatened that was for loved ones, the harder I fought to protect them, often to my own detriment. Overserving only negatively impacted my energy and health. It did not benefit those I was trying so desperately to help. Then gently

Spirit started to help me understand that by trying to “make things better for them” I was actually impeding their growth. I was interfering with their journey and their learning. So, I have learned to surrender and instead believe in the strength and capability of others to navigate their journey and trust that Spirit is guiding them all for their highest good. There are still moments when I get caught and slide back into wishing, praying, asking for something to go differently for those who I see hurting but I am quicker to remember that they are in good hands, God’s hands. And that heartfelt belief is so calming and freeing for me. Can you relate? Have you had major shifts like these?

I have written before about my belief around money – “you need to work hard for a living” – which I did from age fifteen but always seemed to struggle with having enough money. Then one day several years ago when my belief switched to “there is always enough money” and I let go of the fear and worry of not having enough. We have not had to struggle with money since even when on retirement, my income fell to one third of what it was. Money is energy and it has flowed freely for us. I truly believe that this heartfelt belief about money would help so many in the chaotic economic state of the world right now. our belief in abundance can counteract that of scarcity which is being broadcast so loudly these days. What do you think? How is money working for you?

One monstrous set of beliefs that I am still working through are those tied to how I functioned

in health care and what I believed to be the most accurate information about the body and healing. My entire career was based on “following the science” and “evidence-based practice.” Of course, there were many times when I intuitively knew what to do to help a situation, but I never really acknowledged it at the time. Towards the end of my career, I wrote “policy” as “guidelines” encouraging the staff to take the information but apply it as best they could to patients by listening to the patient’s unique experience and following their own intuition. Don’t get me wrong. The science gave me a foundation to start to understand the body, and it is held so strongly in the collective consciousness that it does facilitate healing because of the collective belief of many that it will.

However, as my loved ones faced serious health concerns over the last few years, Spirit showed me more. I began to “see” where illness or disease was in the body and with the guidance from Spirit, I worked energetically to help resolve the issue. I am learning more about my role as a healer and how to facilitate healing in a very different way than I did as a nurse. I am starting to listen to the body more and recognize its amazing ability to heal itself. That switch from a body needing external help – medication, a physician’s expertise, etc. – to knowing that the body speaks to us and can heal itself is a HUGE shift for me. BUT it is a resurfacing belief that is anchored in my heart. I recall examples of these “miraculous occurrences” throughout my career, but we did label them as “miracles” – coming from some outside mysterious source - versus the body responding to the deeply rooted belief of the person that they could and would heal.

As more and more people are starting to recognize their ability to self heal, Spirit still suggests some external “supports” such as nutrition, water, or supplements may be helpful because after all, we live in a 3D world. We are in a transition time where, for still many things, we still need the skill and care from those external sources. As we start to come into our power of self healing, and the collective consciousness shifts, we can work more in tandem with current medicine – for example we can facilitate a quick and uncomplicated recovery from surgery. We can prevent more illness by listening to and working with our body. On this part of my journey there are still occasions when I recognize that I am slipping back into my “nurse hat” but I remind myself to TRUST in Spirit and then can move forward with the spiritual/energetic perspective of healing or understand when the two need to work together. Can you hear your body speaking to you? Can you recall a time when you believed you would recover from an illness or avoid it altogether and you did? What are your beliefs about the body and healing?

Relationship Changes

As I have pursued my spiritual growth, it makes sense that some of my relationships have changed. Many friendships have faded away because I have changed and my interests and

values no longer align with theirs. Initially I tried to keep track of everyone and made efforts to keep in touch. Then I would suddenly have days when I realized that I hadn’t connected with someone for a very long time and I hadn’t missed that. They hadn’t reached out either, so I allowed myself to gracefully release those friendships. We each needed to follow our own path and if it is in our best interest to reconnect, I trust that we will when it is the right time. Releasing those relationships made room for new like-minded people to enter my life. I am so very grateful for the many amazing, beautiful people I have met in the last five years and for the friendships I have maintained as both of us have grown along a similar path. How about you? As you reconnect with your true self and have transformed over this past year have your friendships changed?

Even my relationships with my loved ones have changed. My family has seen a new me emerge and they are so loving and supportive my heart swells with pride and love for them. They may not hold all of the same beliefs, but we love and respect each other for what we each hold. I have learned to trust that their path holds for them exactly what is for their highest good even if I can’t see it at the time. They have taught me lessons in responsibility and self love. I can be true to myself with them and know I will not be judged, only loved.

The coolest relationship that has strengthened is of course my connection with Spirit. My Higher Self, Guides, Angels, some passed loved ones, yes, my dragons (I recently met a second one), and even a new entity – a “blue being” - are all part of my everyday life. As I wrote about in Microwave Moments, I have ongoing conversations with them all day long. The more I listen, the more guidance I receive, the better my day goes. I have learned to tune into my internal compass and the wisdom I hold versus what the outside world throws at me. I say “hello” every morning and thank them every night. When I feel their overwhelming love, I know I am in the right place, at the right time, doing, thinking, and feeling the “right” thing. When I am serving others, they are right there with me providing wisdom and guidance that I simply pass on.

Creating My Reality

As I have learned to listen more to my internal voice, I am able to create the reality I wish to live in. Every day I am getting better at asking “what do I want to do? What will serve my highest good?” versus thinking about what I “should” do. Some of those “shoulds” become necessary at some point – like paying the electricity bill – but even then, I have free will. I can choose to pay the bill and have light on a dark winter evening, or I can not pay the bill and adjust to life without electricity. I am learning to spend time in gratitude for the many beautiful people, things, events in my life. They continue to be part of the reality I choose for myself.

I can also choose my perspective on the world around me. I can focus on all the negativity found in the media allowing myself to feel negative feelings about it – worry, anger, despair - or I can choose to simply observe what is there, detach and not judge it and not focus on it. Instead, I choose to focus on the beauty in my life and what makes me happy. I choose to fill my time and space, my thoughts, and feelings with the people I love and the things I love to do. One of those things is engaging in creative endeavours. I love to write, work on my website, sew, quilt, knit, cook, and occasionally paint. Creativity is something that for me, has been stifled for many years as I kept putting it on the back burner. Today, as the Divine Feminine energy comes in creativity is more supported and I believe tapping into our creativity is a connection to Spirit. Where else does the inspiration come from? Are you allowing your creative genius to come out and play?

Moving Forward

So those are some of the changes I have experienced as a few more layers of the onion have been peeled back. Looking back at the me of five years ago, I do see a big transformation. I am still “me” but more of the “real me” has been uncovered, if that makes any sense! There have been many changes, lessons learned, and much hard work. There have been times when I felt like a stranger to myself! But looking back I wouldn’t change anything because it has brought me right to where I should be now. And that is true for you too. Have you been doing your own inventory as you read this? What have been your major shifts? Have you let more of Spirit into your life?

So where to next? When I ask Spirit that question lately, I am told to rest as “there is something big coming.” They keep showing me a bright future for the planet and I am told I have a role to play in us all getting there. In fact, we all do. That is why we are here on this planet at this time. So, what about you? Do you know your next steps towards that bright future? If you do – awesome! If you are still in a holding pattern this is what Spirit has to say:

• Keep working on you. Remember, you are the only person you are truly responsible for. Keep peeling back those layers of the onion.

• Keep facing those challenges knowing they hold valuable lessons.

• Indulge your creativity.

• Embrace those shifting values.

• Release those old relationships that no longer serve you and fill your space with those who align with you.

• Keep exercising your free will to create the best reality for you. Choose yourself because when you do, there is a positive ripple effect to so many others.

• AND most of all keep connecting with Spirit in whatever way works with you. Your Angels, Guides, Ascended Masters, dragons, fairies, etc. are right there with you whispering in your ear, showing you pictures in your head or tangible signs in the world around you. Work with them. Ask them for help to grow your spiritual gifts that are tethered to your soul.

This is our time. The more we focus on our own grow, the more we help the world. The

brighter our light becomes, the stronger our connection to others is. When we lift up ourselves, we lift up countless others. In fact, Spirit has given me the term “butterfly effect.” Your small individual changes will have tremendous impact on that bright future. BUT no pressure! Remember to let Spirit be your guide and all will be well. So, let’s all start to climb out of our golden chrysalis and flap our wings. I am sure when you look back you will see the contrast with your current new you. Embrace who you are. You are ready to fly!

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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