Try, Try Again

As I enjoyed a Facetime visit with my daughter and three of our grandchildren yesterday, I marveled at the eight month’s old perseverance at crawling over a literal obstacle course of scattered toys, which also included his mom’s legs as she sat on the floor with him, to get to

his favourite toy that his sister was enticing him with. His little face lit up with a smile as his determination was rewarded when he reached his goal and began pushing buttons to watch them light up. That moment brought in a sudden flood of examples of perseverance I have witnessed recently and then Spirit threw in the phrase, “Try, try again.” I can understand why this message is coming in now. We are being challenged globally to persevere in our hope for the future and personally to persevere in our work to attain our life’s goals. In this year of the Fire Horse, we are being supported by the energy of action and creativity to persevere on our journey forward. The full phrase that Spirit was reminding me of is the well known “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” In other words, the phrase motivates us to continue our efforts in the face of adversity. It encourages us inferring that we can still achieve our goals despite several attempts and setbacks. In fact, it implies that repeated efforts and learning from mistakes are often a necessary part of success. I am sure every one of you have lived examples of this proverb. Right?

Why Do We Persevere?

I am sure you can think of times when you question your repeated efforts to attain a goal when it feels like you are “hitting your head against a brick wall” as we would say in our family! Your efforts to reach a certain outcome feel fruitless and, in some cases, may even feel harmful. Repeated failures or “coming up against a brick wall” or barriers can definitely be disheartening and/or frustrating. So why did you persevere? Wouldn’t it have been easier to just give up? I can feel you nodding your head in agreement – yes, it would have been easier. But you did not give up. Why? You might say that you kept trying to achieve your goal because your goal was important to you and you knew when you had success it would be amazing. Just like the inspiring Buddhist monks’ recently completing a 3700 km “Walk for Peace,” you also believed in your goal and believed you could overcome any adversity in reaching it because it was important for you. You knew you would be rewarded with a wonderful sense of accomplishment when reaching your goal. Like a climber weaving his way around boulders, craggy outreaches, and slippery slopes you would feel triumphant as you finally reach the mountain top to take in the glorious view. Your chest would swell with pride that you made it! Can you resonate with that feeling when you have persevered to achieve a goal?

Or have you persevered for a different reason? Was your determination fueled by a fear of failure? Were you afraid of the consequences if you did not achieve your goal? Students, for example, often find themselves in this scenario driven to attain a passing grade in a course because they are afraid of failing which could then lead to not moving forward in their studies and costing them additional time and money to repeat the course. Other examples may include persevering towards a goal because of the fear that failure may ruin your reptation or result in others thinking poorly of you. Still other examples may be the fear of losing money or material possessions if you fail to reach a goal. Are there times when fear has been your motivation to reach a goal? Unfortunately, this seems to be the direction of social conditioning for many people but we can turn that around by understanding the fear and changing our perspective.

I know I have experienced both scenarios in my life – the pull of the feeling of pride and accomplishment in reaching a goal that was important to me, and other times, where fear has pushed me to persevere in reaching a goal because I feared the consequences of not attaining it. One source of motivation is intrinsic, and one is extrinsic. One is empowering with the motivation to persevere coming from within. The other puts the power in the hands of fear or someone or something outside of ourselves. What have you experienced? Which do you prefer?

Lessons Learned

In all situations when we “try, try again” we learn valuable lessons. We learn how to overcome obstacles by perhaps changing direction, perspective, or strategies. If you are being pushed by fear rather than being pulled towards a goal by the excitement of achievement, it may be time to stop and examine whether that goal is something you really want for you or are you being pushed towards it by external factors? You can learn about what is aligned with your authentic self. Without the fear is that goal something you would still want to achieve? If not, then you are learning more about your true self. Getting curious about understanding the root of the fear will help you release it as a driver for your perseverance. If you still want to achieve that goal but have a more enjoyable journey, you can shift your perspective from looking over your shoulder at the fear pushing you, to looking forward to the joy of success enticing you. Spirit reminds us that we can choose which direction we want to look.

Our perseverance can also show us how resilient we are in the face of failure. Failure is just an opportunity to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try again getting creative about our next attempt at success. Each “failure” teaches us what does not work for us and gives us an opportunity to ask why, to learn. Perhaps we were trying a strategy to move forward that was given to us by someone else and we did not really believe it would work. In fact, at times we might catch ourselves thinking, “This is ridiculous. It will never work.” The Universe hears us and supports us in creating that reality – the strategy does not work! We learn to change our perspective to one that resonates for us, to change our approach to one that we think, and FEEL will be successful and sure enough it works! Learning to believe in ourselves and our vision is a powerful lesson! Having the courage to move forward in a way that aligns with your true self, persevering as you make slight course corrections along the way, is a huge lesson in how powerful you really are.

Sometimes the lesson is just one of timing. We may only think and feel that one way forward

is right for us, so we persevere, but we keep “hitting the brick wall.” If changing direction and going around, over, or under that wall does not feel right and you cannot knock it down, then the Universe may be telling you to have patience. Standing in front of that wall and waiting

until it simply falls away when the time is right for you to move forward is also persevering. I am reminded of a young woman I know who has been trying and trying for several years to conceive and begin her journey into motherhood. Each failed pregnancy had the potential to pull her into deep despair, into giving up. She might have been told by “well meaning“ people  that perhaps she just “wasn’t meant to have children.” But she did not listen. She cast that doubt, that social cliché, aside. Instead, she listened to her heart and the call of motherhood. She embraced the life lesson in patience and persevered. She had a clear vision of her future family that she would create, she believed, and she had hope. Now on perfect Divine timing, she will soon experience the exquisite joy of being a mother.

Support From Fire Horse Energy

Perhaps Spirit brought this topic forward this week because we have entered the year of the Fire Horse, a time of energy that supports action and creativity, or moving forward as our authentic selves. We are in a time now of having the ability to move forward quickly to achieve our goals. We are being supported in getting creative on how we structure and execute each “try.” What is important though, is to have clarity on what your goals are. What are your goals day to day, moment to moment? What are your goals for your future, your life purpose? Do you have a clear picture of what you want to achieve? How do those goals goal FEEL in your heart? Are you excited about them? Do they feel aligned with who you are?

Once we have clarity on where we are going, it is also important to develop a plan on how to move forward. This year is about action, our action. It will not be enough to declare our goals and then wait for them to come to us. We must act. The plan should indicate the various “landmarks on our path” forward but should not be “airtight.” Instead, Spirit reminds us to “go with the flow” (as a friend of mine would say…) and be open to tweaks to the plan that your intuition or signs from Spirit suggest. That flow will take you easily around some barriers just like water flows around and over a boulder in a stream.

I am reminded of a small example of perseverance from just last weekend. My grandson and son-in -law were flying home from a hockey showcase weekend that my grandson played in. On going through airport security, the agent had my grandson remove a small plastic autographed mini hockey stick from his carry-on bag, He and his dad were told that they would have to leave the mini stick with security and retrieve it on their return. It could not be part of their carry-on luggage because according to the agent “it could be used as a weapon.” This was the first barrier to getting that stick home. My son-in-law addressed that barrier by explaining that they had checked the airline rules for carry-ons and the mini stick appeared to meet the requirements of legitimate carry-on items. This, however, did not change the agent’s decisions – barrier number two. My son-in-law persevered and explained that they were going home and would not be returning to retrieve the stick at which point the agent put the stick in the garbage – barrier number three. As my nine-year old grandson began to cry, my son-in-law became more determined to have that autographed stick make it home with them. He called my daughter to discuss other options. Intuitively, she suggested they just go around the barrier by leaving the security area and putting the stick on the plane as checked baggage.

At this point, my son-in-law had to make a decision. He could have given into fear of some negative repercussions for leaving the security area or from going behind security to retrieve the stick from the garbage. Instead, he decided that getting that stick home for his son was what he believed was the right thing to do for him. So, determined, he and my grandson retrieved the stick from the garbage bin and proceeded to get it on the plane as checked baggage. This is when Divine intervention stepped in. Not only did the baggage agent carefully wrap the mini stick and tag it, but she also waved the $40.00 fee. Then, as they were in flight, the same agent turned out to be one of the flight attendants on their plane. She sought out my grandson and reassured him that the stick was safely in the cargo area and placed on top of the luggage so it would not get crushed. I am happy to report everyone arrived home safely, autographed mini stick in tow.

My son-in-law persevered. He was determined to get that stick home for his son who he loves so much – he was clear on his goal. He took action and was receptive to changing course (leaving the security area) to try another tactic. He used his free will to make a decision versus giving in to fear and the end result was better than he could have imagined. Success with bonuses! (no fee and personal reassurance from the flight attendant for my grandson). But the story does not end here. There were valuable lessons in the experience for my grandson. He not only received and acknowledged the love from his dad through the whole experience, but he also experienced the kindness and generosity of spirit from a stranger. This was an opportunity for him to learn about gratitude. Also, when trying to understand the behaviour of the security agent my daughter provided a valuable perspective for him. Instead of judging the agent as “mean” and feeling angry or hurt about the experience, my daughter suggested that the agent may have been having a difficult day and that they did not know the agent’s “story.” Perhaps the agent just understood the rules differently and was afraid of repercussions if they did not abide by the rules. With that perspective my grandson learned to look at the situation with grace and to not judge.

Perseverance is a Gift

In this year of many upcoming opportunities to be creative and take fast action to move forward towards our goals, remember, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Perseverance is a gift in the face of adversity. Instead of allowing a challenge to have us stall, retreat, or go off path, perseverance keeps us moving forward. Along the way we learn valuable lessons. As we pull away from the fear from social conditioning, we can be grateful for the understanding and release of fear.

When you hit a pause or detour in the flow, remember that your free will and your heart

centred creativity will help you persevere and get you moving forward again. Nothing in our life occurs without reason. Feel gratitude for your journey so far and begin to feel the pull of the excitement and joy of achieving your goal. Congratulations on persevering. Your actions are the embodiment of the courage and strength of your authentic self.

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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