I’m baaack…! I have missed writing for you this last month but Spirit had other plans for me. It has been a long three weeks and I have much to share, so grab your morning coffee and get comfortable for this slightly longer read.
I have been “missing in action” because three weeks ago my mother unexpectedly ended up in hospital and two days later my husband as well. My journey and that of my family, since
then, has been one of immense learning and opportunities to grow spiritually. I know that when our seemingly normal lives are interrupted with a crisis or a huge detour, it is always because Spirit is helping us accelerate our growth. We are each on our own spiritual journey but with shared experiences we can have crossovers in the lessons we are learning from the situation and from each other. When someone we love becomes ill or injured, there are lessons or messages from Spirit not only for them but perhaps also for all those involved – family members, friends, coworkers, health care providers, and even those people you chance to meet while in an ambulance, an emergency department, or a hospital room.
We are in a time of great change. March was heralded as the month where those changes would accelerate, a time of many energetic shifts and great creative energy. According to well known intuitive counsellor and psychic Colette Baron-Reid, many of us would experience detours in our lives which would feel like we were being taken off path. Obstacles would be placed in our way to slow our lives down. The month was to be a time to pay attention to signs provided to us by Spirit and to trust in Spirit to help us plan how we will move forward in life – to go with the flow. Well, for me and my family, March was true to its promise. Hence the title – “Lives Interrupted.” I have been guided to share with you some of our experiences and the lessons/messages that came through from Spirit during our time of upheaval in hope that it may be helpful for you now or in the future.
You may remember that the last newsletter we talked about worry, anxiety, and fear as triggers for life lessons in responsibility, control, and judgement with the common thread of building trust in Spirit. When I recently told a dear friend that I felt I had worked through lessons in responsibility, control, and trust, she reminded me that just when we feel we have successfully worked through a lesson, Spirit will come back and provide us with another opportunity to solidify our learning as if to say “Are you sure you have this worked through? How about this scenario?” Well, Spirit did just that, coming through with more persistent messages about responsibility and control, giving me plenty of opportunity to develop a deeper trust in Spirit. Here is how the lessons took shape…
Lesson #1 - Responsibility and Control
A few weeks ago, I “rescued” (or so I thought) my 89 year old mother from a potential fall
returning from her solo shopping trip. I was worried (yes, there is that word again) that she would slip on an icy sidewalk walking with her walker to a nearby bus stop and fall injuring herself. Despite my best efforts to put safety measures in place over the past three years since she suffered a broken hip, she has had subsequent falls but luckily no injuries and I was trying my best to keep it that way! But that week, the Universe had other plans for her. The next day, she fell in her own home and broke her other hip and her shoulder. She was admitted to hospital and had surgery the next morning to repair her hip. I did not worry about the surgery. I asked her angels to be with her and trusted Spirit would keep her safe. I am extremely grateful that she came through the surgery very well.
Sitting with her on her return from the surgery, I reflected on the events of the previous few days. It struck me that despite all my efforts, she still had a serious fall with the outcome being exactly what we were trying to prevent – another broken hip. Even though I had “rescued her” the first day by not “allowing” her to take the bus home, I did not prevent the fall the following day. I began to ask myself, was preventing her fall even my responsibility?
Trying to balance protecting my mom from potential harm with helping her maintain her independence has been tricky. As she has become more fragile with age, I struggle more with that balance. I try not to step in and control her life as I know I would not want mine to be controlled if I were in her shoes. Yet since my dad’s death thirty years ago, I have felt responsible for her safety and well being. It likely is because I promised him in the minutes after he passed that I would look after her. Despite him coming through from the other side several years ago to tell me quite clearly that he released me from that promise, I have persisted. Why? Perhaps her fall was to make me look at this more closely.
Now, with the fall, her life has been interrupted. Her independence that she cherishes so much is gone as she is dependant on health care providers for assistance with basic activities of
daily living. While I see or talk to her daily and check in with her care providers to monitor her care, I am called to really look at what is my responsibility when it comes to my mom? What should I have control over if anything? Am I taking on responsibility to help her, or is it to address a need of mine? In answering these questions, Spirit has helped me to pause and see my mom’s situation from her perspective. While the “old nurse” in me sees gaps in her care that I want to address, I let go of those about which she was not concerned. Other gaps that seemed to impact her dignity or might slow down her recovery, I initially jumped on – it was still difficult to totally step away from my 43 years of being a nurse. Now, I have paused in the follow up on those issues first checking in with Spirit as to what would be in my mom’s best interest versus serving my own need to control the situation. When I trusted Spirit’s answer and let go of needing to do any follow up, when I let go of needing to control aspects of her care, the issues resolved on their own.
As I watch my mom’s recovery, it is increasingly evident that she is in charge of her life. She is in control and I don’t need to be. I can see her strengths and need to celebrate them versus discounting them in an effort to maintain control. I see her as who she is, not who I might want her to be. With her steadfast determination, calling herself “a stubborn Dane,” and the assistance of the staff, she is regaining her mobility. Spirit has made it crystal clear that I do not have, nor should I have, control over her life even if it comes from the loving desire to keep her safe. Clearly, I could not stop her having another injurious fall if that is what was destined for her. The only life we have control over is our own. She is ultimately responsible for her own life. She has designed this life prior to her birth, just as we all have, and she is responsible for her own journey. I am only responsible for my interactions with her and not for orchestrating the events in her life. I can trust that the Universe truly does have her back and is helping me learn my lessons in responsibility and control.
Do you struggle with questions about your responsibilities related to someone else’s safety or happiness? Are messages from Spirit that are ignored or difficult to interpret? Do you have life lessons in responsibility and control?
Lesson #2 - Judgement
As I let go of my need to control every aspect of my mom’s hospitalization, my husband and I prepared to have a lovely weekend in the mountains only an hour away from home. But Spirit
had other plans for us and our lives took a giant detour - we were back in the city later that afternoon waiting for my husband to be seen in an emergency department. Within only a few minutes of arriving in our mountain view hotel room, my husband shakily told me that he thought we should head back to the city. I was confused until he told me that he was not feeling well. When I learned he had been having symptoms for a long while and they had accelerated in the past two days, I was stunned. Then through the shock, judgement made a brief appearance. I couldn’t understand how he had been going through this experience alone for so long. Why had he not seen a doctor? Why did he not tell me? I started to judge him – didn’t he know what the symptoms could mean? And I started to judge myself – there must be something wrong with me to cause him not to trust me enough to tell me. Perhaps it was that he would feel judged! When he told me what had been in his thoughts, I understood things from his perspective. Fear and denial are powerful emotions. The judgement dissolved as I reminded myself not to make assumptions, not to take things personally, and to always try to see a situation from a loving perspective.
As we waited for him to be seen, the “old nurse” surfaced again and all the possible diagnosis ran through my head. I tried to focus on a less serious verdict than the one I thought his symptoms pointed to. I tried to convince myself that we would be going home soon and even possibly back to the mountains. However, six hours after our arrival, the emergency physician led us to a private space and gently, compassionately, shattered any possibility of the outcomes I had been trying to believe would happen. Instead, my underlying fears were realized. It was the news we were both somehow expecting but dreading. Within minutes I ran through a range of emotions. My denial turned into numbness, then shock, disbelief - it was all so surreal. This happened to other people but not to us! Where had this come from? I felt as if the Universe had smacked me up the side of the head. Then guilt and self judgement again, how could I have missed the signs? I should have caught this earlier even if my husband wasn’t ready to tell me.
As we held each other waiting for his admission to hospital, my perspective shifted. A calmness set in. It felt odd but at the same time I knew we had support from Spirit and I needed to “allow,” to accept that support. We were in this together and whatever twists and turns the journey takes, I felt it would be OK. We talked about how all of us come to this planet with a plan, that everything happens for a reason, and that we would get through this. We decided to let go of the past, let go of regrets and judgement, and only look forward. As we went through the next two weeks, we kept that promise. Our family and everyone supporting us joined us in looking forward to each step along the process as a positive step in his healing.
Have you had to face a sudden detour in your life? Has it caused you to jump to judgement? Has your perspective shifted? Were you able to release the judgement? How? Could you feel support from Spirit?
Lesson #3 – Trust
Throughout the next two weeks, my husband and I both had profound experiences in
connecting with Spirit. He was a model patient, trusting the care givers and following their recommendations. He repeatedly reassured everyone; he was “going with the flow.” He put his trust in Source that everything happens for a reason and ultimately for our highest good. As he surrendered, amazing things fell into place for him starting with the skilled emergency physician who knew what diagnostic tests to do and how to interpret the results accurately, to a quick hospital admission, to being placed on a unit with amazing, caring, and skilled staff, to being assigned to a surgeon who has the reputation of “being the best”, to having a surgery that the surgeon described as “nice and simple” within a week of his diagnosis, to having mild discomfort as opposed to severe pain post op, to healing quickly with no complications.
Sometimes an obstacle placed on our path can make us feel anxious, angry, impatient, or even unsafe. If we take a different perspective, a more positive one, we can also see the obstacle as an opportunity or even a message to slow down and look at the changes we need to make in our lives. Often, we have missed more subtle signs from Spirit, so the message gets louder. The bigger the obstacle, the more important the message. In the end, it can fuel us forward in a better direction, in a direction more aligned with our soul’s purpose.
This interruption in my husband’s life, created a time and space for him to slow down and connect with Spirit. He met one of his Guides – I had the honour of introducing them – and developed a relationship with him. He reconnected with his intuition and meditation to “hear” more from Spirit. He reaffirmed his will to remain on the planet and move forward with the purpose of more consciously helping others. He tuned into his own ability to heal his body. Having the experience of being a patient, he gained a different perspective of people suffering from illness or injury. He was reminded of another time in his life when a severe health problem caused him to pause but once through the experience life “went back to normal.” This time around, he can see a repeated opportunity to learn some lessons and connect with Spirit that he has now resolved to carry forward and integrate into his life creating a “new normal.”
The urgency and severity of my husband’s illness brought a sudden interruption to my life as
well, as my daily activities were readily forfeited so I could be by his side. Sharing this experience with him brought me the opportunity to wholeheartedly place my trust in Spirit. Once I recovered from my initial shock of the detour our lives were taking, I felt strangely calm, knowing/trusting everything will be as it should. Even when a good friend told me at one point, that my husband was experiencing an exit point (a predetermined point in this life’s timeline when his soul can choose to leave the planet) I didn’t become anxious or fearful. Somehow, I knew that he wanted to stay and trusted that the outcome would be in his soul’s best interest. As I maintain that trusting connection to Spirit, new healing gifts have started to open up for me and I have a stronger connection with Archangel Raphael. I am able to “hear,” “see” or “know” information from Spirit on a more frequent basis. My increased trust in Spirit has put me into the calm observer role in many situations where I can see things differently, without emotions like anxiety or worry, and help others work through the situation.
When has Spirit presented an opportunity for you to develop your trust? Have you had the opportunity to discover new gifts when your life has taken a detour? What opportunities have arisen for you out of your challenges? How has your trust in Spirit enriched your life?
Lesson #4 – Boundaries
During this experience, I also learned that we are only meant to serve certain people at certain times. At one time I assumed that anyone I loved and cared for I could send healing to. I learned over time, that is not always the case. Sometimes when we “do for” someone, we are preventing them from growing or progressing on their journey by “doing for themselves.”
Many years ago, my coworkers taught me a valuable lesson in making assumptions and “doing for.” Because we all had a heavy workload, I would take on more work to protect them from a heavier workload than they already had. One day, when I explained this to them in response to their query about why I had not passed on a certain project to them, I was astounded by their response. They were relieved because they thought that I did not think they had the ability to do the work nor that I could trust them to do it. Dumbfounded, I reassured them that was not the case and took note of the valuable lesson they had just taught me.
This recent experience with my husband taught me a different version of that same lesson. One night after returning home late from the hospital, I sat to send healing to him. As I started the process, I felt blocked so I asked Spirit if it was on Divine purpose for me to send him healing. I was surprised to hear a definite “No.” When I asked why, I heard he was to heal himself. I knew he was focusing on that several times a day, so to hear this answer was, to me, an exciting affirmation that he could do just that. It was also a great reminder to ask Spirit if it is on Divine purpose that I send healing to anyone prior to doing so.
Are you a healer and a giver? Have you ever felt your “giving” may impede someone else’s growth? Do you check in with them or Spirit to ensure what you are giving is on Divine purpose?
Gratitude
This experience also gave my husband and I a reminder of all the things we have to be
grateful for. The first is our beautiful family. The love we share as a family brings tears to my eyes as I write this. The family’s lives were interrupted by this experience as well, but they did not miss a beat in jumping into action to show their love and support. Our four children and their partners took “rotating shifts” visiting throughout every day of the hospital stay. At times, the shifts overlapped so there was “standing room only” as we congregated at my husband’s bedside. They took time away from work to spend time with their dad. When some had to be out of the city, they called or facetimed. They would keep their dad’s spirits up with humour and competitive rounds of card games. Even our three young grandchildren visited bringing hugs and kisses that light up your soul.
We are so grateful for the many friends and extended family who called, texted, and visited sending their love, healing, and best wishes. We are so blessed to have friends who are skilled energetic healers working with Spirit to assist my husband in addition to the prayers from friends and family. Everyone took time out of their day/week to support us. This unexpected event interrupted their lives as well in a smaller way.
We are grateful for the skill and expertise of the emergency physician that resulted in my husband being admitted so quickly; for having a surgeon whose knowledge and compassion instilled trust in us; for the timely and thorough care my husband received throughout his hospital stay; for the courteous, respectful, cheerful, and caring hospital staff from the admitting department, to porters, to operating room staff including the anaesthesiologist who gave my husband a tip on falling asleep with positive thoughts has you waking with positive thoughts versus worry, anxiety or fear; to housekeeping staff; to the unit clerks assisting me in tracking down the emergency physician’s name so we can send a thank you note; to last but not least, all of the wonderful nursing staff. We are grateful that despite the widespread description of the health care system as “broken,” it proved otherwise for our experience.
Last but not least, we are grateful for the other patients and their family members we met, each on their own journey but sharing love, kindness, and prayers for my husband’s healing. We acknowledge that they too have had their lives interrupted with lessons to learn and blessings to acknowledge.
Has your life been interrupted with a traumatic event? Can you find people or things in the experience to be grateful for?
Looking Forward
So, as we come to the end of this wild ride in the month of March, we briefly reflect on the detour our lives took, the lessons learned knowing that the bigger the challenge the greater the
lesson, and the many things to be grateful for. More importantly, we are paying more attention to the clear vision of what we want the future to hold and we trust in Spirit’s plan. We acknowledge this pause in our busy lives that allowed us to discover new gifts and a stronger connection to Spirit to integrate into our journey as we move forward. Some of our lessons are still not completed and we still have some lingering fear to work through. But, as my husband says, we will “go with the flow” and continue to trust, listen, and learn. As we learn how to be better, how to serve and contribute, we look forward to a new beginning in how we live our lives. At the end of the day, we know that what we focus our attention on is where the energy flows to co-create our reality with Spirit.
We know too, that our individual lives mirror what is happening on a larger scale in the world around us. Certainly, this month has shown us many upheavals in our cities, countries and world in finances, politics, crime, and climate. But just as our challenges are mirrored in the “outside world” so can our dreams and triumphs. My husband had a sequence of dreams the
other night on coming home from hospital that symbolized him building a beautiful future where “the sky was the limit.” What challenges have you overcome this month? What lessons have you learned? Where is the sky the limit for you? What are your dreams for the future? I see a beautiful one for all of us, don’t you? Let’s all trust in Spirit, for we are always Divinely directed and protected. Can you turn an interruption in your life around to focus on the sweetness of life? Together, let’s build on what we have learned and look for how we can contribute, even in the smallest of ways, to the betterment of humanity, and direct our energy to co-creating the beautiful future we will have. I’m looking forward to it aren’t you?
Lots of love and hugs,
Marilyn
Resources
If you would like to learn more about life lessons, building trust in Spirit, dealing with life’s challenges, here are a few resources I have found helpful:
Books:
I Can See Clearly Now by Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein
Websites:
Thyra Whitford, Master Empath – Life Lessons course (coming soon)
Intuitive Counselling and Angel Card Readings
If you have the need a helping hand to identify and work through your life lessons, to learn to connect with Spirit, I am offering intuitive counselling and angel card readings online or in person (in Calgary).
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