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  • Marilyn Young

Change Is Hard! ... Or Is It?

This week Spirit has brought change to me on so many levels I felt I needed to share with you

the messages these experiences brought to me. It is often said and believed that “change is hard.” This past week alone have heard from clients, friends, and family about their struggles with a change in relationships such as divorce, conflict with family members, the loss of a loved one; change in their health and how their body is feeling; changes in their finances such as unexpected costs and struggles with generating income; and changes with their work or workplace environment. Everyone tends to see these changes in terms of a loss or hardship. The change is hard because we are going through the grieving process when there is a loss or we are needing to work at figuring out and adjusting to a new direction in our life. So, as they say, “change is hard” …or is it?

If we pull back and look at life from a broader perspective, we, and everything around us, are in constant change. In fact, the well known saying, “the only constant is change” or “change is the only constant in life” was made by the ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, when he observed that nature was in a constant state of movement – for example, seasons change. Is it only Mother Nature that changes? NO! Heraclitus observed that “Everything undergoes constant change”. Can you think of anything that doesn’t go through change? Every living thing grows and ages. Nature moves through the seasons, weather changes, rivers flow so one spot is never the same, snow melts, lakes evaporate, mountains erode, the stars move. Our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviours change. So, if everything undergoes change, then the only constant is change itself.

Our philosopher friend also explained that the opposite of something can only exist because the original changes. The light of day (the original) fades into night (the opposite). We often label the “original” as “good” and the “opposite” as “bad”. This reflects the concept of duality or the necessity of the negative and positive energy of the universe. Matias De Stafano on Gaia explains that we need duality to experience the different perspectives of reality. He talks about the duality of light and dark/good and bad/positive and negative and that we should choose to live in neither but rather stay neutral. He explains that when we get too far into one perspective or the other, the universe will give us a nudge to move back towards neutral and as we do so, we grow and evolve. For example, most believe that stability is good. But as soon as we feel we are stable and not experiencing change, something happens to disrupt that stability and help us find a different perspective. It is through the different perspectives that we learn and evolve. For example, fear of something fades when we learn to love it. Do you see the necessity of change?

Heraclitus’ third observation about change was that “everything exists and doesn’t exist at the same time (Matter can change form so that the object no longer exists, but the original substance does).” For example, a puddle can dry out or evaporate but the water molecules still exist as moisture in the air. Our negative thoughts may no longer exist in our mind when we recognize them and quell them but at the same time, they exist within the energy around us as that is where the energy of those thoughts has landed just because we had then at one point. So, even if we think we can change something to be rid of it, it still exists in a different form.

If change is all around us, occurring constantly, and is necessary for our growth, why do we find it “hard”? One might think that we would be accustomed to something that we are continually experiencing and that we might actually welcome it if it supports our growth. Do we find some change hard or difficult because we don’t acknowledge all the change, we experience on a minute by minute basis? We simply deal with that unacknowledged change automatically. For example, most of us are completely unaware of the miraculous change that every cell in our body goes through as we grow, age, experience variance in health, etc. Do we take some change for granted like the seasons so we don’t judge them as harshly? Are we sometimes resistant to change because we are resistant to the life lesson it brings? Are we resistant to the growth change brings because of underlying fear based belief systems? When we find change hard are we gravitating towards the negative energy component of the duality of our reality? Does the universe make change hard to force us back towards the neutral centre of reality? Do you find change difficult? Why do you think that is?

Change is “hard” OR IS IT? If we are constantly experiencing change, why should it be hard?

Can we or do we, see it in a positive light? Everyone has also experienced changes that they have welcomed and that have brought them joy. For example, the beauty of a sunrise or the birth of a new family member. As the cells in our body regenerate, we heal from injury and disease. As our thoughts and beliefs change, we move out of fear and worry into love and joy. As the thunderstorm fades, we look on in awe and appreciation as a beautiful rainbow appears.

When you are consciously dealing with change, can you look to find a perspective so you can learn the life lessons that the change brings to help you grow? Can you see the benefits of it and the growth it brings you? For example, does someone lose job after job until they realize their own worth and pursue employment in a field more aligned with their purpose? Can you recall some changes that you have welcomed? That you have benefitted from. Have you acknowledged your inner strength that you called upon to work through the change?

If we can see some change as positive, do we need to see any as difficult, hard, or negative? The answer is a surprising “yes”. If we go back to the discussion of duality, we need to experience both positive and negative energy in our reality because it is the movement between those and from each back to neutral that helps us evolve and grow in this human experience that our soul is having. Also, sometimes, as the universe moves us out of one polarity, we are sent directly past neutral over to the other polarity to continue our learning.

Change also operates on is own Divine timing. Sometimes we are anxious for a change to occur. We feel we have done everything possible to bring about a change and it still is not occurring. Why? Because Source knows the best time for the change to occur so it aligns with our highest good. Sometimes part of this process of anxiously waiting for a change to occur involves a life lesson in patience. The best way to cope is to surrender and trust that the Universe really does have your back. As they say, things will occur “all in good timing.” Conversely, some changes happen before we feel ready or catch us completely by surprise. The reason is still the same though. Although we might not see the logic in the timing, it is still in our best interest.

Our perspective on change and how we deal with it is also affected by our personality, health, choices, past experiences, etc. Currently, I am dealing with a change in my relationship with my mother. I no longer have the role of supporting and advising her in some of her major life decisions. I now have to assume the role of making those decisions for her and the first decision I have had to make was to move her to a more supportive living environment. This is a difficult change for me. It has been very “hard”. Although I know I am capable of making decisions for her that will keep her safe and healthy, I struggle with taking on the role because she so highly values her independence. For days I have been wallowing in the difficulty of the change, knowing it is necessary, yet resisting it. Part of my reluctance came from what my mom was experiencing. I could understand her verbal lashing out in anger at what she perceived as losing her independence - wouldn’t I feel the same way? As an Empath, though, I could also feel her fluctuating emotions of hurt, desperation, sadness, and loneliness. I could feel her feelings of abandonment. As her daughter and as a healer, I just wanted to help make those feelings go away for her but I couldn’t. It was just my personality to want to make everything right in her world just the way she wanted it, but ethically I couldn’t. I felt I was doing what was necessary not only for her safety, but also the safety of others.

As I grappled with making that first decision, I tried initially to use my nursing experience and logic, weighing pros and cons of each possibility. However, that didn’t help me. The scales bounced back and forth between options, never settling into a final weigh in on the best option. I had many discussions with my siblings and my family, seeking their opinions to put into the mix. I made many attempts to discuss options with my mom but in her mind, there was only one option which unfortunately was no longer feasible. As I continued to struggle with my new role and to resist making that initial decision, my sleep was interrupted and I started to feel unwell.

Then, I finally decided to sit down and have a serious conversation with Spirit. I needed help

and I knew I had to ask for it. Being too distracted by the thoughts rolling around in my head, I couldn’t journal so I pulled out my angle card decks. Lately, Archangel Michael has been around a lot so instantly I heard to use my Archangel Michael Sword of Light Oracle deck. I shuffled until Spirit told me to stop and then drew the card they usually directed me to draw. I drew from the top of the deck. I smiled as I turned the card over. Card # 19 – Make a Decision. I laughed. Could the message be any more direct!?

The card’s message continued to reflect my situation: “The time has come for you to make a choice.” No kidding! I was feeling worn down by my procrastination. It continued: “So often when people are conflicted about a decision, it is because they are comparing the repercussions of choosing to make themselves happy versus giving someone else what they want… Ask yourself if you have too often gone with the option of making someone else happy at your own expense. Then ask yourself if it isn’t time to bring the scales back into balance by choosing what you truly want.” I had to really reflect on that. Yes, I often go with options to try to make others happy over my own wishes but I had to ask myself, what did I truly want? I wanted my mom to be happy but what did I want for me? Then I read the last statement: “I (Archangel Michael) will support you in whatever you choose.” It was reassuring to know that the universe, namely Archangel Michael, supported me. Somehow it made it easier to decide that I wanted peace of mind that my mom would be in a safe environment and maybe I would have a little more time for myself. I gave myself permission to decide based on that because I finally was valuing myself. It felt good to be coming a little closer to the back end of that lesson in self worth.

So, had Archangel Michael pushed me along the duality continuum from negative closer to neutral? I think so. I will likely even shift my perspective to the positive end so that I can help my mom do the same. We will see… My point is, we can shift. AND when we feel stuck, we can reach out to Spirit for support and assistance. Change is necessary. It’s OK if it is hard because there is a bigger picture. Everything happens for a reason and all for our highest good. Yes, change can be “hard,” getting our attention so we work through the lesson. It can also be good, bringing us excitement, anticipation, love, and joy. Also, because we have free will, we always have a choice – we can resist change, feel stuck, and make it harder than it needs to be OR we can shift our perspective working through it, trusting that all is in our highest good.

At this time of year, we are ALL experiencing many changes. The weather is warming with the Spring season and new growth is changing the dullness of winter to a brilliant green. Sports seasons or classes are wrapping up (like hockey for one grandson and French class for another!) and new teams are forming (like soccer for my granddaughter!) Routines are changing for families as the school year draws to a close – friends disperse over the summer, parents scramble to put kids in camps and make temporary childcare arrangements. On the political front, my province is buzzing with anticipated changes due to next week’s election and some are fearing disaster with the current threats to the American economy.

On a deeper level, the entire planet is shifting and changing energetically. Solar flares increasing in frequency and intensity and the fluctuating electromagnetic energy of the Earth can affect the energy around and within us. Many of us feel changes in our bodies experiencing unusual physical symptoms, sudden episodes of fatigue, or a sense of being “disconnected.” As we move through these energetic changes it is important to practice grounding on a regular basis, maintain hydration, and connect with your spiritual community (including your guides and angels) to help you understand the changes occurring.

These are just a few of the many continuous changes we go through where perhaps some do

not even acknowledge them as change. Others may feel that these changes are hard and yet others will welcome them with open arms. Whatever your reaction to change, know that your experience is as it should be for you and your growth as a soul. Based on your unique experience, as you move along that duality continuum, and you say to yourself, “Change is hard!” stop and listen because I will be asking you, “Or is it?”

Lots of love and hugs,



If you would like to learn more about coping with change, here are a few resources I have found helpful:


The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein


Intuitive Counselling and Angel Card Readings

If you have the need for a helping hand coping with change, I am offering intuitive counselling and angel card readings online or in person (in Calgary).

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