Inside Out

I was having a conversation with a dear friend the other day and Spirit came in quite suddenly and insisted I share the discussion with you. As I started to jot down a few notes, the additional information and perspectives from Spirit started to come in in rapid fire! This was

the kind of conversation I have had with her over the years that have sparked my curiosity and quenched my thirst for knowledge about all things spiritual to help me to grow spiritually. They have always been a safe space for me to speak about anything on my mind no matter how “far out” the ideas might be or how “dumb” I thought my questions were. Over the years, as my intuition and other spiritual gifts grew, the conversation had more and more participants. Initially it was her and I and I am sure some subtle input from her guides. These days, however, that input is coming from all of our guides, any angels that choose to pop in, other light beings, and sometimes even souls who have passed will add their “two cents worth.” The conversation just flows, and it seems perfectly natural for us to have “the other side” chime in. Occasionally I stop myself and think about how “normal” the conversation feels for me, yet I know I cannot have these discussions with just anyone… yet! I am always so grateful for my circle of “spiritual buddies” who I can have these “heart to hearts” with. So, what were we talking about you ask? Well, I will do my best to summarize…

Changing Relationships

We started by sharing the energetic shifts we have been experiencing in our bodies and in our gifts as well as our current challenges in this year of transformation. One of the things we discussed was how many of our relationships were changing as we changed. We compared notes on how our circle of friends was changing and/or getting smaller. Amidst all of that, however, we were grateful for our continued cherished friendship. It seemed to us that the more we have become aligned with our higher self, with our true self, it seems the more some relationships are fading away or changing as our interests, values, or even sole purpose simply no longer aligns. Is that something you are experiencing? How are you changing and are your relationships changing too? We talked about the initial sadness of releasing those relationships but then Spirit gently reminded us that we should only look back at the gifts and growth those relationships brought us. We are to let go, and not relive through remembering, the pain, confusion, frustration, and hurt that might have occurred. Spirit reassured us that letting go also opens up space for new more aligned relationships to come into our lives and into theirs.

Where Does Your Sense of Self-Value Come From?

As we talked about where our future lies with the changes around the globe as well as within ourselves, our conversation shifted to our sense of self-worth. We talked about what value did we bring to the table in our work and in our relationships? As we reflected, Spirit confirmed the perspective we have come to take on self-value. We observed that the more we did “inner work” – work on our own life lessons, understanding and growing our gifts, and gaining clarity on our path forward – the less we needed validation about our work and from our

relationships. Interestingly enough, Spirit pointed out that we can release relationships that no longer serve us when we stop cultivating our value, our sense of self-worth, from external sources, from other people. Likewise, if we feel called to do a specific kind of work, we feel good about it, even passionate about it, then we don’t require external validation. We already have the validation from our higher self.

Looking to others for a sense of being valued is pointless yet it is such an ingrained social construct. From early childhood we have been told how to act, think, and feel in order to have others approve of us, to like us, to even love us. And if we didn’t comply, we would suffer the terrible consequence of being alone. Even worse, we would have no sense of worth, no value. When you look at it that way, what a terrible burden to carry throughout a lifetime.

Discussing it further we remembered that we are not responsible for what others think, feel or do – they are. So, what does it matter what they think about us, how they might judge us? It is only their perception and likely is not an accurate reflection of who we are. Do they really know our thoughts and feelings? Conversely, what do we really know about how someone feels? Does anyone always share that? In fact, some individuals do not know how they feel themselves so how could we possibly know how they feel about us? Yet we so very often take to heart others’ opinions of us and often those opinions are based on assumptions we have made. We take it all so very personally. We want to be reassured that we have value.

So, we have likely spent most of our lives assigning value to ourselves based on “external reviews” from others versus what we know and feel about ourselves. Yet, how can anyone really know us as well as we know ourselves? Spirit reminded me that the only opinion that really matters is what we think and feel about ourselves. This is the most valuable lesson to learn this year – to really align with our inner truth, to believe in ourselves, and to cultivate our own sense of worth or value. How do we do that when we are constantly feeling the opinion of others?

Be Careful What You Ask For

The first step, Spirit says, is simple. Stop looking for that external validation. Stop wondering what other people think about you. It simply doesn’t matter. Their opinion is a reflection of their circumstances, their values and beliefs. So, what they think is really only useful to them and shouldn’t concern you at all. I am reminded of the saying, “It is none of my business what someone else thinks about me.” For some of us though, that is a tough habit to shake. There is so much fear – fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being good enough. If we allow that fear to drive us, Spirit cautions to “be careful what you ask for” then. We may not get the validation we are looking for so then we are sent into a spiral of the very feelings we were trying to avoid. Instead, Spirit repeated for the umpteenth time for me that focusing inward is what matters. How we feel about ourselves, our value, our worth is the only thing that matters. So, how do we get there?

The Gift of Alone Time

One of the things my friend and I discussed was how changing or fading relationships create more alone time for us. Sometimes Spirit even arranges time apart in our current relationships

so that each of us can have alone time. We also know that we have a choice as to what to do with that alone time. If our sense of worth is so tied up in what others think of us, we bemoan the loss of relationship time. If we can change our perspective however, we can see that the Universe is giving us a gift by orchestrating more alone time for us. That time is the perfect opportunity to dive deep into getting to know ourselves better, getting clarity on our purpose, and really feeling valuable within ourselves. Have you been given the gift of “alone time”? Spirit really wants us to see ourselves as they see us – as beautiful sparks of light from Source perfect in every way. Our souls have the courage, strength, and wisdom to navigate the challenges on this planet in this lifetime. We are brilliant and loving and so, so valuable. It is time for us to recognize that.

Open Your Heart

As the Divine Feminine energy floods the planet, we are encouraged to become more heart centred. We discussed that from within the heart we can discover who we really are and how wonderfully valuable we are. We can begin to feel the love for ourselves that Source has for us. I wonder how many of us actually really LOVE ourselves. Do you have the same expansive, unconditional love and compassion for yourself as you do for your most cherished loved one? Many of us are closed off from that feeling because we have been taught that it is being perhaps conceited or self centred – both of which have negative connotations. My friend and I talked about the work that it takes to return to self-love. How about you? In the intense quiet of a dark night sitting alone, can you gauge how you feel about yourself? Spirit is saying that you are your most precious “possession.”  When we can finally feel in our heart that we are valuable and truly love ourselves, we will be a magnet for others in our life to love us too. Our self-love and sense of value shine “from the inside out” for everyone to receive. There is a ripple effect when we radiate love from within. It positively affects everyone it touches.

I Can See Clearly Now

As my friend and I talked about the foundational life lessons of self-worth/value and self-love which we feel go hand in hand, I had renewed commitment to focus inward and really give

myself the same love I give to so many in my life. I will at least start there and grow it to feel like the overwhelming love I feel from the angels when they are nearby. In the end, this journey really is one we travel alone. We may have the support of others and our spiritual team but the barriers we overcome, and the lessons learned are ours alone. Wouldn’t it be just perfect to travel that road with someone who you truly value and love? Yourself! I hope you can find some quiet moments or if you have been given the gift of alone time, that you can take advantage of it to become more heart centred and feel that tremendous love for yourself that Source has for you. Our conversation that day ended knowing that as much as we love and value each other, we both need to release the self-judgement, the self-criticism, the self-doubt and replace all of that with self-love and self-worth. Spirit reaffirmed for us that we all need to remember how amazing we are and how valuable we are and to then let that shine from the “inside out”.

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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