Another Twist in Our Transformative Journey

Over the last several weeks we have talked about feeling energy shifts in the body, developing new ways of connecting with Spirit, new gifts opening, being in charge of our life

and deciding what direction we want it to take. Well, as I am sure you are all feeling, the journey continues! I don’t know about you, but the energy of the Pink Full Moon last week in addition to the other cosmic events such as solar flares and continuing surges in the Earth’s magnetic field, have provided a few more twists and turns on my journey. More physical symptoms including EXTREME fatigue, feeling stuck spiritually, and confusion about my next move forward. How about you? Are you experiencing more of the same?

We Are All in This Together

Let me start by saying that I am so grateful that we are all on this journey together. Not only is it comforting to speak with a friend who is experiencing similar challenges, changes and eventually growth as I am, but it is also heartening to know that as we all conquer these challenges our light shines brighter to help others as well as Mother Earth move through the incredible transition we are experiencing on the planet at this time. We have heard during challenging times before, “we are all in this together.” When I say that, I am not referring to the external chaos around us. I am referring to the amazing transformation we are all undergoing. As crazy as we might feel at times, as confused or disheartened, we only have to reach out to know that we are not alone and that we have help and support readily available. That help can come from friends and family, coworkers, or even random encounters with complete strangers. It can also come from Mother Earth herself and her creatures as well as the spiritual realm. Where do you get your support? Do you have someone or something to reach out to?

As Lightworkers, many of you may feel you need to be supporting others at an accelerated and expanded pace these days. I know for me; these last few months I felt bombarded with calls to assist others by offering energetic healing from physical ailments. It got to a point where I was exhausted and worried that what I was offering was not enough and was not helpful for anyone even though I had validation from Spirit to the opposite. So, I got to a point where I told Spirit I didn’t want to use that gift anymore. I didn’t feel competent; I was worried that I wasn’t doing things “right.” So, Spirit complied. Almost immediately the opportunities to help stopped coming my way. It was eerily quiet. Initially I was deflated. It took the change as a confirmation that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t see the connection between my request to make things stop and the eerie quiet until a little later. Have you had a similar experience? Do you waiver in your belief in yourself and your gifts?

As I tried to sort through the changes in my healing gifts, Spirit prompted me to journal. Up to that point I was confused about what direction I should be taking in growing spiritually and I was spinning my wheels. I was stuck. It was time for me to reach out. I think as helpers and healers sometimes we forget to ask for help ourselves. We are either too busy trying to help everyone else and we don’t stop long enough to look at what we might need. Sound familiar? Or sometimes we might feel we “should know better.” After all, if we can’t help ourselves, how can we help others? Right? Wrong! So, after some encouragement from a good friend, I picked up my pen and started to write. It felt good. I hadn’t journaled for quite a while, and I remembered how easy the answers came when I was writing. I started to wonder why I hadn’t done this sooner but quickly realized it didn’t matter. I was doing it now. Then the questions started to flow and the answers from Spirit came quicker than I could write. I smiled – it was just like I remembered. Spirit was ready – I just needed to reach out. You can do the same through journaling, meditation, prayer, ore even a casual conversation.

Looking Back to Move Forward

 As I journaled, I got clarity on how I was to use my healing gifts. Spirit reminded me that they listened when I said “stop!” and asked if I had changed my mind. I wasn’t sure yet. Then over the next several days the rest of the puzzle pieces fell in place. As we had came through the energy of the Pink Full Moon last weekend, I remembered that it brought an opportunity to release old emotional wounds that were deeply buried, to work towards harmony, and balance in relationships, to eventually bring about clarity, inner peace, and a sense of renewal. I spent a couple of days having frequent tearful episodes triggered by long forgotten memories or sometimes the simplest thought in the moment. Those old wounds really were surfacing! How about you? Luckily my family is so loving that their unconditional hugs offered comfort. I was grateful for their silent trust in me that I would work things out. The journalling on those tearful days brought some welcome answers to the questions that were brought on by the tears.

Old fears surfaced as well as my husband faced upcoming surgery. Unlike other times, I

couldn’t see past his surgery date, but I refused to let fear take hold. I know that we can decide which reality we want to manifest, and I was having none of the fearful scenarios! For three days around his surgery, I felt as if I had been on a 36-hour flight with no sleep. I was exhausted and could barely think or see straight but I had to keep going. I wanted to support him. So, in the hospital I found a quiet space and while he was in surgery, I was able to be in the OR energetically as I had on previous occasions for him and others. My journalling had helped me open up this gift again. I was grateful for this, and it confirmed for me that I wanted to continue to offer this for others.

Over those three exhausting days Spirit brought back many memories of previous occasions throughout my life where I had the opportunity to use and grow my healing gifts. I saw that I never really acknowledged them. Whatever I was doing with them then was done subconsciously. I remember being fascinated by some experiences but looking back I saw I was always the observer not a purposeful participant. Re-examining those experience now, it is so clear the opportunities Spirit was presenting to me, but for some reason I was not ready to take the next steps. As I have asked myself many times, I asked again, “Why didn’t I learn all this many years earlier?” The answer from Spirit is always the same, “Because it was not the right time for you.”

Seeing those opportunities from the past and what I did even subconsciously put some more puzzle pieces in place. I now know what I am able to do and how to move forward. I had to look back to get clarity. I had to re-examine old emotional situations to understand and heal them. Everything up to this point in my life were building blocks for where I am today. Can you look back to find your building blocks?  To find clarity? Sometimes we need to look back briefly to see how far we have come before we can move forward.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

As I continued to struggle on my third day of fatigue and fogginess, I brought the situation to some beautiful friends who are also super aware of their own spiritual journeys. I couldn’t understand my sleepiness. I was sleeping well at night. I husband did well with his surgery, so I was not stressed with worry. I just couldn’t shake this grogginess. Then my friends reminded me that what I was experiencing was large spiritual “downloads.” Information, wisdom, gifts were pouring in from Spirit and I was somehow blocking that creating the fatigue and fog. Some of it had obviously already settled as I am sure the downloads were helping me piece things together, but I was subconsciously making it a difficult process. After following their simple advice of allowing my third eye to open, to see my cells opening up and creating space between them for the Divine wisdom to come in, I felt better. That night I slept well and woke the next day finally refreshed.

I had never had such a prolonged period of downloads before, so I am curious as to what came in, but I know that the information is like planting seeds in a garden. We often do not have access to all of it until it is the right time. It is all there for my use when the time is right. Just as we need to wait for the seeds planted in our spring garden, we need to be patient and allow our gifts and wisdom to grow at their own pace and be “harvested at maturity.”  Some information has already come in as to how to grow my healing gifts as well as to sort out who I am to serve and who is not meant for me. This will be especially important for me and other healers in the times to come as our chaotic world shakes up people’s lives. Fear and anger can manifest in the body quickly and as Lightworkers our help will be needed by many. It will be important for us to remain on track with who we are meant to serve versus “trying to save the world.” Spirit reminds us that it will be helpful to remember that everyone has their own journey and that by helping we sometimes hinder the growth of others. So, when we are uncertain about whether to offer our services, we can always ask Spirit for guidance. We can still grow our gifts within the boundaries we set for ourselves.

Just as we need to water our vegetable gardens, so too do we need to nourish our soul. This tumultuous year self care is so important. That is something I have always struggled with, but I have some good friends who are great role models that I can follow. Starting with small moments for me has been most helpful. Staying with my morning routine of grounding and a brief mediation starts the day right. Being more mindful of the messages my body is giving me in terms of food and activity is a promise I have made myself. I am reminded that I can serve others better if my cup is full. I am constantly grateful for the amazing, wonderful people, things and experiences I have in my life, and I refuse to get caught up in the external turmoil. I believe that the more positive I can be the more positive energy I am sending to calm that turmoil. How about you?

We Are on Our Way

This Easter weekend I pause to remember the Christian story of Jesus as he died on the cross and was resurrected from the dead three days later. I wonder if you can see some symbolic parallels in your journey during your life and especially this transformative year with the journey of Jesus. He certainly had challenges. He lived during a time of chaotic political oppression and control. He was persecuted for His beliefs and teachings. But He had a community of like-minded people He belonged to when not everyone in society thought the way He did. He was both a student and a teacher. He had gifts as a healer and a prophet. Throughout His life, His simple message was to love one another. He was guided through it all by Spirit/God.

Just like a resurrection, is this year of transformation restoring you to life? To a new life as a new you? As you move away from old beliefs, old wounds, past hurts leaving “the old you” behind, you bring with you the learnings, new conviction, and a stronger belief in yourself and your connection to Spirit. As you reconnect with your Divine true self, your spiritual gifts flourish as does your love for and connection to others. So, take a moment this weekend to

look back at how far you have come, cherish the evolving parts of the new you and believe that those pieces still struggling to emerge will get there. Believe in your power and the choices you can make for your reality. Reach out your hand to join with others on this journey. (Even Jesus had help to leave the tomb.) If you feel stuck or have experiences that you can’t figure out, know that you are not alone, and that help is only a request away. Stay open to all the possibilities the Universe holds for you. Be open to the opportunities the wisdom of the Divine offers you. Feel safe in your power that you have free will to decide which direction you take next. Know that you are Divinely supported at all times. We are on our way…. together.

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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