Grace and Gratitude

Have you ever been through a string of consecutive challenges that start to leave you

exhausted, frustrated, maybe even angry or hopeless? I don’t know about you, but as September drew to an end, I thought “Phew! Glad that month is over!” and I looked forward to a calmer, less challenging October. However, there were still more challenges to come… AND it turns out that I am in good company. Most of my clients, members of our Soul Messages community, as well as family and friends are all experiencing what feels like a prolonged string of challenges to work through. What about you? As I have been working through my own “issues” and helping others with theirs, Spirit keeps whispering with gentle reassurance “grace and gratitude.” They have convinced me that seeing those challenges through the lens of grace and gratitude is the path to resolution. Here is how I found it works…

Looking for the Meaning in Our Challenges – The Victim

When we first hit a roadblock in life, many of us default to looking for the “why.” Why me? Why now? Why is this happening? We can often feel bewildered when something seems to arrive in our life “out of the blue.” We can be merrily going about our day, week, or month when suddenly something comes up that places a roadblock right in front of us. That something either stops us in our tracks or creates a detour in our path. That roadblock I am speaking of is a challenge that impacts our happiness, our peace of mind, our concept of self, our security, and even our plans to move forward in life. So, when that happens, we start asking questions.

Asking the “why” question often comes when we are in “victim mode.” We are feeling attacked, put upon, or controlled. As a victim we are coming from a place of feeling that something or someone else is controlling us or controlling certain aspects/events of our lives. When we are feeling like a victim we often either want to curl up and pull the covers over our head until the challenge goes away and things get back to “normal” or we get defensive and find anyone or anything to blame for what is happening to us. Sometimes we can get stuck in that role for a very long time. “Why does everything bad happen to me?” “Why can’t I get a break?”

Does any of that sound familiar? I have to admit that I briefly slipped into that mode with my latest challenge when I felt my integrity was attacked by someone regarding how I care for my aging mother. I initially felt as if I was punched in the stomach. My reaction was disbelief followed closely by rage and blaming. My thoughts went to “After everything I do for her why did they do this to me? They are now making my life difficult as well as hers.” I then went on the defensive, explaining “my side of the story” to various parties involved. Everything fell on deaf ears. Being a victim and blaming them for attacking me did not resolve anything. All I wanted was for things to go back to “normal.”

Gaining Perspective

Over several days after this incident, I journaled, spoke with family and friends, and asked Spirit for some assistance with “next steps.” Soon I realized that telling my story over and over kept me stuck in it. Despite receiving sympathy from the listeners, I was still feeling victimized. In doing so, I was tying my own hands in any efforts to make changes. What I needed to do was take action and in order to do that I needed a different perspective. Returning to one of my basic philosophies in life “everything happens for a reason,” I sat back and looked for a deeper meaning in the challenge. I looked at all the possible outcomes of the situation and honestly gauged my response to each of those. Which felt good and possible? Which felt impossible and made my stomach churn? I listened to my body. I listened to Spirit. I looked for patterns. Slowly the pieces came together. I realized that Spirit was pushing me to create a “new normal.” I was at the end of that chapter and I had to make changes to move forward. Have you ever been at a crossroads where Spirit pushes you to create a new normal? Are you there now?

My body was the first to react to the thoughts rolling around in my head. When I thought

about the situation, I felt it in my stomach which tightened immediately and felt nauseated, and my heart had bouts of palpitations and arrythmias. My stomach was clearly drawing my attention to my solar plexus chakra, my power centre. By being the victim, I was giving my power away to others. Spirit was confirming this through several intuitive messages as well as Oracle card reads from others which said, “take your power back.” My heart knew that I needed to look at the situation through a lens of compassion. I needed to look at those who put the roadblock in my way with compassion.

As I looked at the perspective of control and compassion, I suddenly saw familiar patterns in my life. One had been repeating for decades and beyond with the individuals involved. I was shown a past life where I was trying to “save them” by pulling their rowboat to shore in a storm. I reflected on this current lifetime and saw repeatedly how my efforts to “save them” and help them have a less challenging life had failed. I realized I could feel compassion for them without trying to “fix them.” I could trust that their journey was theirs and not mine and that whatever happened would be what was needed for their highest good.

I also saw patterns where I have been repeatedly challenged to stand in my power. One particularly challenging time was brought back to me through a dream. In the dream I came upon a traffic accident and went to help the victims. One of them was woman laying on a piece of metal in the middle of the road. I called 911 as I went to her. Kneeling beside her, I

could see she was breathing and conscious but disorientated. I held her hand and tried to calm her as I wanted to prevent a piece of metal that was lodged in her back from moving creating a potential spinal cord injury and profuse bleeding. Although I had told her help was on the way she kept trying to reach a phone in her pocket to call for help. I knew she wasn’t hearing me, but I kept repeating myself trying to keep her calm until paramedics arrived. I woke before they did. As I recalled the dream, I suddenly recognized the woman. She was a work colleague from ten years ago who was really a challenge to work with. Although she worked with a partner agency, she kept telling me how to run my team and demanded that I manage my staff in a certain way. I repeatedly gave her reasons why her requests were not feasible and in fact could create risks for our mutual clients. Somehow, even with multiple meetings and emails, it seemed as if she just couldn’t hear me – just like the woman in my dream.

In the end, she convinced the third partner agency in the program to make changes to exclude my team. It was a hugely challenging time for me, but I had to stand in my power. I couldn’t comply with the demands as it was not in the best interest of my team and our clients. I found a way outside the program to still support them both. What I see now that I didn’t see then was that I was also trying to control the outcome of the program. The Universe had a different path for it at that time, but it was difficult for me to let go as I had created the program initially. If I had recognized the merit of standing in my power but at the same time the need to release control of the situation and trust that the Divine had a different plan, I would have been less devasted with the outcome. Not only did the woman in the dream bring this to my attention to release the issues from that time, but it also reminded me to also stand in my power with the current issue and release the outcome.

Taking Action

Looking at the patterns that were so obvious now and my recent lessons on “saving” others

(see my recent blog “Safe”) I knew I had to take some action to prevent them from reoccurring again. I began by releasing the tethers I had to the people shown to me in the past life. The rope I was towing their boat with was transmuted into light and since then they feel more “distant.” I think of them as two souls who come from Source just as I do and who are on their own journey. I can feel compassion for them and wish them well on that journey. I realized that I really don’t know their whole story, so I pulled back from making blaming assumptions. I don’t know their soul contracts, so I removed myself from the triangle relationship between them, my mother, and me. Perhaps it would serve me, them, and her better if I simply “got out of the way” and allowed things to unfold as they should. Interestingly, once I did that, my mother’s attitude towards me is more pleasant and I feel lighter.

Paying attention to the woman from the dream, I realized she must have come through because I still held negative feelings about the conflict I had with her. As I saw any tether I had to her transmute, I could feel my stomach relax. With the reminder to release the outcome, I have converted my fear of any negative outcomes in my current challenge to trust in whatever happens will be for the highest good of all. I am slowly navigating my way around the tangible tasks of supporting my mom in a different way – working around the roadblock – with suggestions from Spirit along the way. I remind myself that I am only responsible for myself and not the lives of others. The one thing I am responsible for is standing up for myself and taking back my power. Again, I am carefully navigating the current situation with guidance from Spirit and engaging legal help to take back my power. This is my new chapter.

Today, I was also reminded about forgiveness and the ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness – the Ho'oponopono prayer. It beautifully summarizes all the rest of the missing pieces. Here is what the prayer has highlighted for me:

I’m sorry.” When I say this, I am accepting responsibility for my part in my current challenge. I was trying to control the outcome.

“Please forgive me.” I am asking my higher self and the higher self of the others involved for how my trying to control the outcome might have negatively impact our path, for what roadblocks were put in place or detours created.

“Thank you.” This is a big piece of the prayer for me. It is a thank you to those involved who I initially blamed for all of my issues. I am now thanking them for triggering events and my inner reflection which have helped me to release things that no longer serve me. I am thanking them for allowing me to find a way to bring more compassion and trust into my life, for reminding me to release control of the outcome, and for prompting me to stand in my power.

“I love you.” As I take the perspective of seeing everyone involved in this challenging situation as a Divine light from Source, I can easily feel love for them. I can feel love and compassion for myself for working through these lessons. I feel love for those supporting me both in the physical world and in the spiritual one. Lastly, I feel love for the Divine for allowing me to take this leap in my spiritual growth.

Grace and Gratitude

So, do the bumps I have been experiencing on my journey lately ring familiar to you? Are you facing similar challenges? Are old, deeply buried wounds surfacing to be reconciled? Are once familiar non-constructive patterns presenting themselves to be broken? Are longstanding relationships and routines suddenly changing? Is your power being challenged? Are you finding it difficult to open your heart to compassion and forgiveness? If you find that any of the rough ride in September is carrying on into October, I hope my reflections can help you view your situation from a different perspective to enable you to move forward. I hope you can hear the whisper from Spirit too – “grace and gratitude.”

As you move through your challenges, I hope you can approach the situation, yourself, and others involved with grace. Remember to breathe, be patient, and know you are not a victim. Be open to the guidance and support from Spirit in whatever way it arrives. It may come to you through subtle signs such as repeating numbers. It may be more obvious as direct answers received during meditation, journalling or just in the quiet conversations in your head. It may come through oracle cards or questions asked of a pendulum. It can also come through trusted friends, family, or a spiritual practitioner you seek support from.

Open your heart to compassion and forgiveness starting with yourself. Remember who you are and where we all come from. See the light in yourself and others. Allow your light to shine brighter and brighter sending a ripple effect through to others enabling them to shine brighter too. Your simple act of compassion and forgiveness for yourself can truly impact negativity around the world through the ripple effect. (If you would like guidance with this see the guided meditation in our YouTube channel: Meditation for Peace – Spreading Your Light with Your Guardian Angels.)

Like me, I also hope you can feel grateful for the path of self discovery and healing you are on. I hope you can feel grateful for the old patterns, relationships, beliefs, and wounds that are surfacing now for you to heal or release. I hope you can feel gratitude for the people and events that have triggered this part of your healing journey as well as for those who have supported you. I hope you can feel gratitude for the block that caused you to pause and address some things that were meant to come up at this time. I hope you can feel gratitude for the detour on your path that in the end was a “better way to go.”

Wherever you are on your journey of spiritual evolution, I hope you can travel in grace and

gratitude. Reaching that state, you will feel immense peace and will know that you have taken great strides forward. Although my situation is not completely resolved, I am more at peace and feel empowered. My body is at peace – symptoms have disappeared. I feel free as I have released the responsibility for others. I am embracing grace as much as I can and am so, so grateful for the lessons on this leg of my journey. So I wish for grace and gratitude to abound in your life. As I write this at the beginning of our Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, I am even more humbled and grateful to be on this precious journey of life. I am also grateful for you taking the time and interest to read these words. Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving.

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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