Safe

Some of you may remember that a month ago Spirit guided me to “take a break” from my

weekly blog that brings their messages to you. I was to focus on the next part of my own journey. Just prior to that break I wrote about many of us being at a turning point and shared some of my own experiences. Old patterns were coming up for me again with opportunities to deal with lessons in control, judgement, and feeling safe. Little did I know that was just the beginning of a major turning point for me. Those lessons were screaming at me for a deeper look and the experiences I shared in that blog were just the warmup. Everything came to ahead on the night of the full moon. In a moment of what I saw as a crisis threatening the safety of loved ones, the voice of Spirit came through loud and clear, and I had a choice to make. That choice was my ultimate turning point. Here is a brief recap the month’s journey that took me there and you will discover why Spirit wanted me to share it with you. …

Escalating Expectations

True to the card for August I had a lot of “things coming at me” throughout the past month – both demands on my time as well as a lot of needs for my emotional support of others. I was confident though that I could meet all those needs and was happy to be spending time with and helping loved ones. I went through my days calmly, confident that I could address each new request for my time and each need for a sympathetic ear. Emotionally I was available to listen and support loved ones and clients when they needed it. I was happy and grateful to be of support. The emotional triggers from the previous month were gone. When an extended family situation arose that could potentially create conflict, I quickly pulled myself out of the emotional response that previous interactions have repeatedly pulled me into. Instead, I tried to take a compassionate approach and offered some logical, helpful suggestions. In all my activities of the month it felt good that I was helping. All was well.

Despite all of the demands, I felt on top of things. As I allowed another task to be put on my plate, I set to work and got it done. I was checking things off my list of things to do. When friends commented “I don’t know how you do it all,” I shrugged it off. This was how I got things done. I dug a little deeper to find the physical and emotional energy to address things and just moved forward. I had done it this way many, many times throughout my life. I was in control.

Warning Signs

Towards the end of the month as a major family event approached, my body started to ask for my attention. It was creating symptoms that made me stop and take a break. My initial response was “Not now. I don’t have time for this. I’ll address this next month when things slow down.” (In retrospect, this has also been a lifelong pattern.) But my body insisted I pay attention by making the symptoms ‘louder” until I did stop and listened. I knew I was being told again to slow down, to rest. Other than physical rest though, what was it trying to tell me? I searched for patterns as to when the symptoms were occurring – both in physical activity and in my thoughts. I recalled other times when these symptoms had occurred. What was the message then and how did that fit this time? I was drawing a blank. The symptoms persisted and increased in frequency.

As much as I tried to stay clear and open, I started to also feel disconnected from my Angels

and Guides. I grew impatient when answers weren’t coming quickly. I didn’t realize that, as they are telling me now, their delay in communicating was deliberate. I was to spend more time on myself to see what was coming up for me to address. But I didn’t. As the family event drew nearer, my excitement was clouded with worry starting to set in about potential scenarios that could threaten the safety of my family members and others. As a result, the symptoms continued to get worse. In my frustration at the lack of quick answers from Spirit, and as some fear about my health started to creep in, I reached out to a friend.

An Epiphany

The messages from Spirit that came through my friend resonated so deeply I cried. From her feedback pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. A certain past life came up vividly where I failed to save a family member from the waters overtaking Atlantis. I could still feel the grief of losing them. I remembered that at that time I felt responsible for “holding the waters back” but I couldn’t and they perished. That failure and that responsibility had carried over into this life. I could see my repeated patterns of worry and fear being addressed by trying to help them and control situations to keep them safe in this lifetime. Spirit’s message through my friend was to release that “tether” that kept pulling me back into that fear of losing them. My body was actually reacting to that pull backwards. That was what was causing my symptoms.

Spirit reassured me that I would still have a close loving bond with my family member, but that particular tether tied to that event in my past life was no longer serving me. I needed to release it. It was time. I have seen and acknowledged my fear quite some time ago as I saw its repeated patterns in this lifetime. But although I tried to refrain from stepping in and controlling a situation, I always succumbed to the panicked urge to help and to try to keep them safe. Now understanding the root of that pattern, I was motivated to release it. The additional message from Spirit that my family member “will be alright” was the reassurance I needed to proceed. So, I connected to that lifetime and brought in my higher self as well as some angels to assist me in releasing that tether. Once that was done, I felt relief and instantly knew I would have no further symptoms. I was so, so grateful for the events that brought about the symptoms and for my friend’s assistance.

The Choice

My story doesn’t end there though. Spirit had more in store for me. There was a bigger piece in this lesson of responsibility and control. As I happily participated in our family event, there was a part of me that felt separated from the rest of me. It was like part of my being was walled off from what was occurring. That part was apprehensively waiting for something to threaten the safety of my family. It was a darkness that I tried to put aside. After all, I had done the work the previous week and besides, all the symptoms my body had been speaking through to me had disappeared. But that gloominess continued to walk beside me and as the family event continued, I could see my fears manifesting in front of me. I tried to trust that all would be well, but I finally had to react to “save” my family member.

What happened next was the final execution of my turning point. Reacting to my fear, I tried to convince my family member to take specific actions that I thought were necessary to keep them safe. As they resisted my “help” their response landed as if someone had slapped me across the face. “Stop trying to control everything. You always need to be in control. Just let it go.” The words were wrapped in a loving reassuring energy, not anger, but they stopped me cold. I could feel tears coming and I knew this was Spirit speaking to me directly through my loved one. I needed to back off and trust they will be OK as I had been told a few days prior. So as difficult as it was, I retreated. However, with fear still driving me, I then tried to manipulate the environment to make it safer. I didn’t get as far as I wanted because blocks were put in my way. Others came forward to help, and I needed to trust them. I know now that they were orchestrated by Spirit. I had to make a firm decision. I had to chose. Do I keep reacting to the fear or do I let go and trust? Looking at all that was in front of me, and with the support of another family member, I finally “let go.” My efforts so far had failed in creating a turn of events. All I had left was to let go and trust that Spirit had their back and would keep everyone safe.  

In the end, everyone was OK. Maybe things did not occur as I thought they should, but everyone was safe. Looking back, perhaps I was manifesting my fear and when I “let go” things may have taken a turn for a better outcome versus the one I feared. What was best for me was not necessarily best for them.

The next few days I felt as if I was in a “black void.” I went through the motions of my daily

activities, but my heart and brain felt “turned off’. I was existing in an emotional and spiritual void. I had not much conversation with the people around me and it felt like my connection to Spirit was totally shut down. All that kept rolling around in my head were those three short sentences and the shadow of fear persisted. I wondered if I should talk to my family member about the whole situation, but I couldn’t even make a decision about that. I had no clue what I needed to do next and no motivation to try anything.

Time to Reset

Interestingly, as the first day of the new month dawned, something woke up in me. My connection to Spirit was back “online” and more of the puzzle pieces fell into place. I decided to give myself some designated time to take a deeper dive into what was still missing for me to release. As I reconnected with the same past life, another one came in vividly as well and I realized what they had to teach me. In those lives I failed to save my family from a very bad fate. Just as I could not save a loved one in my Atlantean lifetime, I also failed to save my family in another lifetime. My execution as a witch because I was using my healing gifts to help others, left my children abandoned. I could not keep them safe. What I so clearly recognized in that moment was that I have carried that fear into this life. The fear wasn’t with regard to myself being safe as I discussed in my Turning Point blog - it was deeper than that. I have carried the fear for my family’s safety through lifetimes. As a result, in this lifetime, I have repeatedly tried to control situations to keep loved ones safe. The lifelong patterns were so clear and now at least I knew the root of them.

As I had done previously, I connected with my higher self and some angels to release the “tether” to that lifetime as well. As I saw the tether transmute into light Spirit showed me each one of my current family members enveloped in a golden sphere of light and I knew in my heart that they are safe. I was then shown myself “flying free’ – free of fear, worry, and guilt. As I have acknowledged so many times before, I was again reminded that I am not responsible for the path of others. This time that knowing feels anchored in my heart. In fact, as some guilt started to settle in thinking that all my efforts to “help” and “save” them actually delayed their journey or took them off path, I was able to release that too. I was reminded that “everything happens for our highest good.”

Later that day, as I participated in a group where we pull Oracle cards for each other, I got a message that confirmed I was on the right path and needed to continue “releasing the connection to family.” I know it is those types of connections that no longer serve any of us. I also know that we will continue to be connected in love free of obligations, fear, and a misplaced sense of responsibility. I know too that there are other people in my life to help me release the need to control and feel responsible for others and those relationships are next on the list to work on at a deeper level. I will keep asking Spirit to guide me and be grateful for the challenges that have “peeled back another layer on the onion of life.” I know that I can trust my body to tell me when I am off course. Most of all, I can embody the belief that we are only truly responsible for our own path and trust that my loved ones need to travel their own path even when it doesn’t align with my version of “safe.”

Looking back, I marvel at the timing of this experience. Coincidentally, it occurred on the night of the full moon in a lunar eclipse. That energy was true to form for me as it brought about intense emotional cleansing (the release of my fear), revelations (finding the deep root of my drive to help loved ones and keep them safe), and realignment (releasing the tether that no longer served us.) I believe that the moon’s energy has helped to prepare me for new beginnings that are waiting for me in this month of reset. In fact, coincidentally in the same Oracle group session I had a second card pulled for me and it spoke to beginning a “new phase in my life” as well as creativity. I loved the confirmation of this turning point. I know there is still some work to be done on this self assigned lesson in responsibility and control, but I feel closer than ever to “wrapping it up.” I look forward to that day and to what’s coming next because I also know that as long as we are on this planet, we are learning.  

Moving Forward

So that’s the story. That is why Spirit had me take a pause in my usual writing activities. They knew what was coming for me, and I needed the focus to get through the lesson. Now the question is, “why did they have me tell my story?” Perhaps something felt familiar to you. Has there been a life lesson calling out to you that it is ready to be fully addressed? Is your body giving you signs that you need to stop and listen to?  Are you too at a major turning point? Are you ready for the reset coming your way this month? Perhaps you need the reminder and reassurance that we can trust that Spirit not only has our back but the back of our loved ones too. Archangel Michael even showed up in our last Angel Messages to give us the message “You are protected.” That message applies to those we love as well.

If life lessons are coming to the forefront for you to address, do you have the support and tools to find the root of the lesson to address it? Are they drawing your attention to a past life trauma? Are the lessons carried forward along your ancestral lineage, and it is now time for you to address them for the good of you ancestors as well as generations to come? Or are they rooted in your childhood, and it is time to set your inner child free? However, you chose to address that life lesson, remember that you are not alone. Reach out to your Guides, your Angels, and other members of your spiritual team including connecting with Source directly. If

that has temporarily shut down for you as it did for me, reach out to a friend, family, or a spiritual practitioner. Remember, we are all connected. As you grow, you help others do the same. There is a ripple effect so there is no shame or guilt in asking for help.

If you are at or have just come through a major turning point, hang in there. This month

provides us the energetic support to reset, to become more aligned with who we have leveled up to become, and to create the next phase in our journey. Keep going and keep growing. There are exciting things waiting for you just around the corner!

Sending you love and light,

Marilyn

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